Mr. Right & Miss. Right

She was wearing a white cotton dress and her dupatta was fluttering in air. It was our special spot away from the eyes of kinfolks and police. My head was peacefully resting in her lap and her fingers were playing with my locks. I wished…time comes to stand still. She started humming a song and the tune was so melodious that I fell asleep. After a while I heard a hoarse sound and felt some movement on my legs. I opened my eyes just to hear my roommate snoring and my blanket slipping. Miss. Right visits my dreams atleast twice in a fortnight; she is a simple girl with average looks. I would have loved to describe her more, but it will be too boring for you.

When I came to Pune, loneliness engulfed me and so the search of Miss. Right began. I eventually ended in proposing a girl which I ‘thought’ was my Miss. Right, though the result was negative. I succeeded in learning some important aspects of life from the above failure. After few years, I started liking another girl; this time I stopped the moment I knew I wasn’t her Mr. Right.

Then started the quest for Mr. Right as both gave me the same reason; I am not the Mr. Right for them. I also started thinking more about my Miss. Right, started questioning; what exactly do I need? Because the girls I liked were opposite to what I was and am looking for…
After doing the ground research and asking people, both successful and unsuccessful; I found out…

There is nothing called as Mr. Right and Miss. Right… We tend to fall for the person who we think ‘could be’ or ‘can be’ the Right person for us. But in due course of time we find out few things about the person that irritate us to the extent of our guts. The Right person has attributes that we love and we expect that they remain same forever and he/she also has some defects that we expect to change in due course of time.

Little do we know; that for every good aspect, there is something bad in us and vice versa. So when we change a part of ours then there are going to be changes in the other parts too. Hence some changes come without knocking and those are never expected & accepted.........

Hence the once known as Right suddenly becomes wrong. It is our mind and heart working in a complete mismanagement that first drenches us in the aura of Right and then makes us think again, were we right in choosing our Mr. /Miss. Right?

Our ‘mentellect’ makes us run helter-skelter in the search for the Right person and then the answers when we find out that the Right isn't the Right we were looking for! In the end we come to either of conclusions; there is no such thing as the ‘Right for me’ or we rushed into things when what all we should have done was wait....

I leave you to draw your own conclusions; I will live with mine…

PS: - Thought Seed - Miss. Rakhee Kotak…

સંઘર્ષ - એક ગઝલ

જીવન અને સંઘર્ષ વચ્ચેનો તફાવત ઓછો થતો જાય છે,
સ્યાહીથી લખેલી તકદીર પણ હવે ભુસાતી જાય છે.

ખડક્યા છે મંઝીલની રાહોમાં અનેક ખડકો,
કે નથી ખબર પડતી કે વાટ ક્યારે ફંટાઈ જાય છે.

પેહલી કિરણ થી છેલ્લી કિરણ સુધી બસ ચાલ્યાજ કરું છું,
ઢળે છે સુરજ પણ રોજ આસરો ક્યાં દેખાય છે.

આ મુસાફરીમાં મળે છે કંઈક અવનવા ચહેરાઓ,
જ્યાં લાગ્યું કોઈ પોતાનું ત્યાં તો નકાબ પણ બદલાઈ જાય છે.

મૃગજળ પાછળ ઘણીયે દોટ મૂકી છે મેં 'નિર્જીવ',
પણ એને પામીને પણ મારો સંઘર્ષ ક્યાં ઓછો થાય છે .

-નિર્જીવ

શોધ!

નીકળો છું હૂં લીલાછમ ભીનાશની શોધમાં,
થોડો પ્રેમ તો થોડી હૂફની શોધમાં.
જ્યાં મોકળાશથી રડી શકાય,
એવા વાત્સલ્ય ભર્યા ખોળાની શોધમાં.
હૃદય થી જેના વેહ્તું હોય પવિત્ર પ્રેમ નું ઝરણું,
નીકળો છું હૂં એવા એક માનવની શોધમાં.
પ્રણયનો ઢોંગ જ્યાં ના હોય,
એવા એક જગતની શોધમાં.
વિખરાઈ ના જાયે મારી આશાઓનો માળો
નીકળો છું હું એવા ઘટાદાર વૃક્ષ ની શોધમાં
આ ઉદાસીભર્યા નિત્યક્રમ થી થાકી ને
નીકળો છે આજે 'નિર્જીવ' જીવન ની શોધમાં
-નિર્જીવ

Rakshabandhan & Love Stories…

On my recent visit to home, I was having a conversation with my younger sister.
“A guy has given me a proposal” She Said.
“What are you talking about?” I was shocked to hear that; first reason - I am her brother and the second, she is in Sixth Grade!
“Don’t worry bhai, he has asked me to tie him Rakhi on the Rakshabandhan day” She cleared my doubts.
“Okay. Why is it so, he doesn’t have a sister?” I inquired.
“No, he has 2 sisters. It is because people tease us in class, everyone in class says we are a pair and we want to stop that” She replied.
I laughed in reply.
Though this is not the first time I have encountered this. I have many such memories from school days wherein girls would tie Rakhi to guys they were paired with!
I would like to share the most memorable incident.
I don’t remember which grade it was, we were in all 44 pupils in the class and out of which there only 14 girls (Serious Sex Ratio Problem!). It was big tussle; there was always a quest on who would claim the best of the few. As in claim, we were still adolescent to get seriously involved into relationship.
Prameet had a crush on Dimple. Class had already started their job of teasing and I can assure you that even the dumbest student excelled in this subject. Being a vernacular school, we used to celebrate most of the festivals. As the Rakhi Poornima was coming closer, pressure was building on Prameet. It was sure that Dimple was going to try tying Rakhi on his wrist. Bunking school was the best option he had, but being a coward was not his choice and he did come to school on the D-Day.
It was the first session of the day and ceremony had started. Dimple steered like a rocket and parked herself near his bench with a Rakhi in her hand. He move backwards and shouted “No, please don’t”. Unfortunately our teacher heard him and reported to the scene which already had the whole class as an audience. She asked him, “What is the problem?”
Poor chap couldn’t find an appropriate answer and blurted out “I don’t like decorated Rakhi!!” Whole class started laughing and our teacher joined too! (Few notorious characters of our class had made it sure that even teacher knew everything.) After little hesitation he had to lower his hand to honour the Rakhi. Satisfaction of winning the war was seen on Dimple’s face all day long.
I am sure that death certificate of many one sided love stories has the date same as of the Rakhi Poornima.
My point is, aren’t we dishonouring our religious customs? We are using it as a tool to help us out of some trouble. Today, older generation complains that the younger generation is ruining their culture. This is not the case; the younger generation is asked to follow traditions without actually understanding them. A proper understanding and reasoning will help them evolve. This would give more meaning to our rituals and customs and hence they will be respected by generations that will follow.
Till this transformation happens, ladies if you feel that I am trying to hit on you; please note, I don’t like decorated Rakhi!
-inanimate

…and she smiled.

I love walking; it feels like I am having conversation with mother earth- Gaia. The Huge amount of positive energy that flows through my body makes me want to walk more and more. After dinner, I prefer to take a stroll in my hostel lane. After few days of regular walks, I noticed I wasn’t the only one, there were others too.

Out of those few regulars, a lady quite puzzled me. She used to walk in a straight line without changing her course, to and fro. She never made eye contact nor was she accompanied by anyone. There is something unique about her, I felt.

Few days later, I found her in trouble. Unknowingly walked over dog’s tail, she was cornered by few ruff dogs. They were barking and all she was able to do is get scared. I helped her out of it, while she was returning after a formal thank you I said,

“Mam, you shouldn’t get scared by dogs, it makes them bark more”

I could see a big question mark on her face,

“We, humans give out a specific odour when we get scared which is easily noticed by dogs and hence they bark more” I clarified.

“But I am scared of dogs” She replied.

“Try not to be” I said with a smile and walked away.

Few days later, while I was returning from work, I saw her. She looked at me and I smiled, but she didn’t. I was baffled.
The very next day, we met again. She gave me a broad charming smile, and this time I didn’t reply. I continued my stroll and when we crossed for second time, she didn’t raise her head to establish eye contact.

Few days later at night, I and few hostel mates were enjoying leisure time and during this I described my encounters. The very first and prompt reaction was as expected, they said I was trying to woo her they cracked few below the belt jokes. I explained them that I don’t have a hint of lust for her, for me she is just another person that loves walking and we use the same lane that’s all. They didn’t stop.

I analyzed the situation and the generic human mentality. The answer came that an old women and young guy cannot be just acquaintances. This made me understand that why she didn’t reply to my smile on the other day. She knew the way human brain works and hence didn’t reply as she was accompanied by someone.

I was quite bamboozled by all this.

I couldn’t get the answer to the question, why can’t and elderly lady and young guy just be acquaintances. After a thorough analysis of Indian mentality, the answer came knocking. India is the land of relations. Here we take less than 10 seconds to create a relation. So for Indian people it is difficult to digest these kinds of unnamed relationships. If it had been given the tag of some relation it wouldn’t have been difficult for her.

Few days later, I saw her. She was bit ahead of me. Her dupatta was getting soiled as it was touching ground. I pointed it out to her and left.

We crossed again and she smiled.

-inanimate

झाया बरसात (I have tried to type in Hindi & I don’t know much about it, sorry for errors)

कुछ अरसे पहले की बात है,
जब हम अपने आपमें मदहोश रहते थे,
ज़माने की फ़िक्र तो हमे कभी न थी,
वोह वक़्त था,
जब हम सब नज़रअंदाज़ किया करते थे.

कुछ सपने हमने भी संजोये थे,
और उन्हीमें ज़िन्दगी ढूंडा करते थे,
बूंदाबांदी तोह तभी हुआ करती थी,
हम वोह नासमझ थे,
जो आपनी प्यास पानी से बुजाया करते थे.

पर कल रात की बात कुछ और थी,
अब हम नासमझ तो न थे,
जमकर बरसात हुई मेरे आँगन में,
पर नजाने क्यू,
हम किवाड़ लगारकर प्यास छुपाते रहे.

वोह बरसकर वापिस लौट चले,
और हम 'प्यासे' खुला आसमा देखने निकल पड़े,
उनके जाते हुए कदमो ने नजाने क्या कुछ न कह दिया,
हम भी तोह झाया थे,
जो उनको बरसने दिया और खुद को तरसने दिया.

हर बूंद मेरे आँगनकी कह रही थी,
की उसके सपने भी टूट कर यही गिरे पड़े है,
हमने कुछ सपने बटोरने भी चाहे ,
पर वोह तोह बुँदे थी,
और हम झाया वहा खड़े भी न रह पाए.

RIP Nishant Bhaiya!

Saturday ended with a Good Job from boss, good news from a close friend (His father is ill, but currently he is doing great.) and bun maska chai with a college friend.

After such wonderful evening and late night movie marathon, I woke up at 11.59 in morning. Few peeks at Gujarat Samachar and a light breakfast, I started making list of the tasks that I had to accomplish in the remaining 12 hours.

There was a hurried knock on my door; I opened it to find Sandeepji, my nagging neighbour.

He said “Do you know Dimri?”

“Yes, I remember him”

“He died last night in a road accident”

“He was riding his bike and something happened; skull cracked and he was dead then and there” he added.

I said “Okay” and slammed my door.

Story over and a human too!

An okay Guitarist, LLB student and nice guy is no more.

I didn’t inquire about how he died. Was he drunk, rash driving or someone hit him; whatever may be the process the outcome is not going change.

I didn’t go to hospital too, I am afraid as I don’t have the courage to face grieving people.

He used to call me Nana as he loved my mimicry acts and preferred my act on Nana Patekar.

I used to comment on his way of living, to which he used to say “Pahadi hai hum, aise hi rehte hai”

Broad smile and long hair accompanied by down to earth attitude, he was fun.

I remember the first time we met; I had ‘unknowingly’ misbehaved with a senior in my Hostel cum PG. The offended guy was landing one after another slap on my cheeks. Dimri (Nishant Dimri) bhaiya came, he rescued me and apologised on the other guy’s behalf.

After few hours he knocked at my door and explained why you should respect seniors and other stuff that any hostel guy should know. I started following his suggestion and in no time, I not only found myself in their good books but they also started respecting me.

We used to celebrate many festivals like a family. Many nights did I spend trying to match my lyrics while he played guitar.

I haven’t met him since last few months, his visits to hostel decreased after his friends moved out.

Today when I close my eyes I can see his smiling face, hope I can do the same after few years.
RIP Nishant Bhaiya!

I remember a small sentence from a poem my father used to sing –
નજાણ્યુ જાનકી નાથે કે કાલે સવારે શુ થવાનુ છે

(Not even the husband of Janki (i.e. Janki means Sita his husband - Ram) knew what is going to happen the very next day. True!)

-inanimate

Changing face of Marriage, Relationships and Love!

I was dining at my ‘Mess’ (a place in hostel where we eat) one of the female server came next to me. I address her as ‘Maushi’.

She said “Divesh bahiya, maza manatli ichha purna hoyil na?” (Brother Divesh, my wish will be fulfilled or not?);

I asked “What wish?”

“Te nahi sangaaar, pan sanga maza manatla hotil na?” (I won’t reveal that; answer me, will it be fulfilled or not?)

“Yes, Yes” I hurriedly answered as I was pissed off at food and secondly had no interest playing hide and seek.

She left, but I did ask her again before leaving, what wish? (I am as curious as a cat can be), she didn’t spill any bean.

This thought didn’t last more than an hour or so. I was back in my room and started ‘Facebooking’ and ‘Chatting’.

Two days later, while she was serving me, she said “Maza saathi prathana keli ka?” (Did you pray for me?).

My faithful memory helped me to recall. I was happy as my day at work had gone well. I don’t know why but my brain has made connection between happiness and spirituality and hence I replied in the same manner.

“Mausi, tyachi marzi asnaar tevahach honaar” (It will happen when he wishes) I said pointing towards the rooftop.

“Vay gelya nantar kay upyog?” (What is the use after I get old?) She said and bingo! I knew what she is asking from god, she wants to get married! But just a second, she is married? In India it is not difficult to differentiate married women from unmarried ones. She was wearing a ‘Managalsutra’ – symbol of her ‘Successful’ marriage.

She started narrating her story; she left her husband because he used to beat, deceive, and to add to her misery, he was also a drunkard and didn’t care an iota about her.

Though I left the place saying god will help you and wished her best luck; immediately bombing started, these were my thoughts, more potent than any dynamite.

I know few men and women who have gone through unsuccessful relationship. Some divorces, some broken shattered hearts and some stupid one sided relationships, all of them.

My experience limits me and hence I cannot comment much on this topic, but what I have learnt from other’s experiences is much more than I could ever go through in this life span.

While listening to some stories (real life) I smile, sometimes I hide laughter (you can’t laugh when someone is crying even though if it is stupid), sometimes heart gets heavy and during few instances I felt tears touching my eyelids.

I don’t get much out of it as I am young and juvenile and unable to digest this; so I have the found a perfect name for it - Life.

This is not just about love between ‘couples’; it is also about family relationship. We have failed ourselves everywhere and the reason is we, ourselves. We always crave for more; never does content resides’ in us. We enjoy happiness for few moments and from the very next moment we want something more than what we have acquired. If by any chance we get lesser than what we had prior than we feel sad about it. More is relative; there are no boundaries or limits drawn for it.

Slowly these feelings will creep in and we will leave all our emotions behind. Few years down the line we will live a life which will be not much different than my pen name!

-inanimate

PS: - We must award American directors with a trophy stating - Visionary of the Millennium. They predicted that world will be ruled by robots by 2025, and I am sure about it. With no emotions, each human is a robot and very few will be left to be called as human by 2025. :)

No Gyaan.........Sab Clear Hai....

I would generally declare myself as creative advertising personnel and hence wouldn’t mind going beyond the limits to satisfy my creative hunger.

But somehow in recent years advertising and promotions have boiled down to hard core sales.

Why should client pay us?

Why should he prefer us?

We can give creative work; but can we sell his products and services through it? This question bugged me for sometimes, I successfully found the answer recently.

You need it do it on your own; free answers hold no value, question does, only when you don’t know the answer!!!

Bad/ Weak products can also move in market with the help of good advertising; for example ‘Bingo’ (ITC). Though the product evolved in due course, it grabbed 30% market share of ‘Frito Lays’ in short duration, which seemed impossible with the TG particular about the brand and moreover its variants too.

It’s ok if one doesn’t understand client’s view, what should concern him is that he should understand the target group.

We have to be super sales man (No connection with Rocket Singh please); we have to sell our ideas to clients and then the product /services’ of clients to the consumers. If we fail to do so, we end up fuming client’s blood earned money.(Dramatic?)

So if you are sure about it than stick to this field, else go for a change, it isn’t too late. Though there is not much money in but the job satisfaction is outstanding.

The best part is that, one directly comes in contact with the CEO’s and Directors and sits for knowledge sharing sessions; here which one learns (in sense of quality not quantity) is still to be generalized.

I have changed a lot of tracks in between, but did you feel a single jerk, nope! It is what we call the
Tone of Voice or else everything is “Bhaaaji le lo bai, bhaji le lo”, the same old bhajiwali, queen of direct marketing and advertising. Lot to learn from her!!!

Good Old Days.............Just A Thought

I remember and after reading this many others will too.

Those were the days when we were in school and used to commute by school bus and some years by BEST buses. I don’t know why it was like that but my pocket money was 50paisa or 1 Rupee till I was in Eighth Grade. My father was not a miser; nor were we BPL, I think he didn’t support the Idea of Pocket Money. My Father didn’t have any Pocket Money during his childhood and hence wasn’t quite fascinated with the idea. Today, I thank him for not giving me fat pocket money.

Those were days when we used to collect two days pocket money and buy something precious. The 1 rupee Ice Candy was like elixir. Sometimes the half buck would be invested in buying something from roadside hawkers mostly Berries, salted. Vada Pav was three guys food, we used to share it and if not invited then snatch it (We carried our lunch with us but the fun was more fulfilling than anything and see the irony, today I miss home cooked food ).

Those days are to be embraced. Moments were cherished and each bite or sip was so exciting and pleasurable, today everything is mundane. Now we have money and can buy many things that we come across in general stores, but the urge is dead. I bought Cheeslings yesterday and didn’t like it, not because that I have grown old enough to enjoy the taste but I miss people who would snatch it and I would try to get my share from a mob trying to get their share. Whenever I see a child buying something, I see my childhood and this makes me smile.

Today our goals are different and so are our ways of enjoyment, I said enjoyment not pleasure as it is hard to find. We cherish something bigger and better and have lost pleasure in small things. I am not complaining but it is life and so is our way of living. Next time you buy a chocolate give it to a stranger kid and see the smile on his face, it will be more fulfilling than having it.

How much ever money I will earn I will be never able to live those moments again, but I will smile whenever I come across those treasured moments.


-inanimate

Hope

I stand in pitch black dark night,
Not a single ray to enlighten.
Moon’s shyness made him wear clouds;
I stand with nothingness around.
Lost I have lot & gained a bit,
War seams ugly as it proceeds.
I still remain as darkness increase,
But my heart glitters.
That of hope, a thin gleam;
I will win, I will move forward.
What may come and what may go,
I need none to support my cause.
Hope & My Soul, my internal companions.
–inanimate

Hope

LIVING DEAD

Like it is,
No matter,
How I persist;
But I utter,
I can't resist.
Being brave,
And having done alike,
My soul in grave,
With whom I dislike,
No law to govern,
I am like one,
Who still moves ahead?
Like a living dead.
-inanimate

I

I

I don’t know what virtue is

I don’t know what principles are

I don’t remember what is good

I can’t distinguish what is bad

Life has turned out so weird

That truth denies false

And false signifies truth

Somehow I disagree to agree

And I remain the same

One without a direction

One without an aim

I walked ahead on road

To figure out my past

I go through my dreams

To analyze my failures

I shred my old relations

To find new cohorts

I erase my footprints

To remain forgotten

Yet I announce my victory

To gain attention

Somehow everything falls in place

I look myself with disgrace

My soul so tarnished

That body feels slave

In this slavery I live

And for very moment

I try not to live.

-inanimate